


New Years' Celebrations

by Smittysgirl (Estirose)



Category: Power Rangers Dino Thunder
Genre: Gen, total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-05
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 02:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estirose/pseuds/Smittysgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mesogog's gang celebrates New Years. Or Tries to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guilty confession time: I wrote under Smittysgirl with Chris Funaro. We decided after all this time to reveal this. (Chances are, if you were talking to "her", you were talking to Chris, though the prompt to Alcatraz was my idea.)

The pizza delivery urchin took in the abrupt change of scenery with little more than a squeak. Mesogog had to admire the boy's resolve. So few of the mammals had made it through molecular teletransportation with their wits about them.

"I, um, have a delivery for a Terrance Smith," he stammered. "Five extra-large. One with no cheese, one with no sauce, one with extra anchovies, a super-deluxe, and one Valvoline Special."

"Zeltrax," Mesogog ordered, "Give this young human his appropriate... compensation."

Zeltrax bowed. "Of course, my liege." Turning to face the human, the cyborg found a stack of pizza boxes thrust into his arms. The delivery boy stumbled backwards, triggering the still-active invisportal and rematerializing in Reefside.

Mesogog shook his head in disgust. "Humans."

Zeltrax shifted the stack from arm to arm, trying not to expose any sensitive parts of his superstructure to the greasy cardboard. "We were supposed to get free crazy bread an order above thirty dollars."

"You should be lucky he didn't drop the pizzas upon seeing your ugly mug," Trent said, appearing from out of nowhere.

Zeltrax bit back an open snarl of contempt and instead thrust the boxes into Trent's arms. "Why don't you make yourself useful and set these out in the conference room."

"Get one of the Tyrannodrones to do it," Trent snarled. "I'm not your lackey."

Zeltrax cocked his head in vague contempt. "We are all subjects of the great Mesogog, and you should show your loyalty by ensuring this celebration goes off without a hitch. THAT is a sworn duty of the second in command."

"Catering is not in my job description," Trent sneered, handing the stack of pizzas to one of the waiting drones. "Unless... don't tell me the great Zeltrax was a caterer in a former life."

Zeltrax's hand tensed. "You are intruding on the festive spirit of the season, whelp!"

Trent's form shimmered. "Who are you calling a whelp, third in command?" He turned towards the Tyrannodrone. "Take those to the conference room and set up the punch!" The creature nodded, departing towards the lair's main entrance.

Mesogog shook his head with something approaching mirth. "While your... Perssonality conflicts hold some appeal to me, I expect the two of you to enjoy yourselves tonight. This regime rewards loyalty. Consssider yourselves -- off the clock."

"Yes, my lord," Zeltrax said, bowing deeply.

Trent's form shimmered back from armored to civilian. "Right." He sneered at Zeltrax and headed in the directions the Tyrannodrone had taken.  
.  
.  
.

The mood inside the base was somewhere between angry and festive. Zeltrax wasn't entirely certain which extreme he'd say it leaned most heavily towards. Trent was quiet and sullen, which was an improvement over his usual loud and arrogant. Carb Carnivore, one of their most successful mutations, was lecturing Tyrannodrones on improving their diets. He himself had taken refuge behind the Genome Randomizer with his valvoline pizza.

He digested a cup of fluid that a Tyrannodrone gave him, feeling pleasure in the slight buzz. Elsa was muttering something, probably cover-related, to one of the more intelligent mutants, one that looked like a cross between a school implement and a mushroom. And his master was enjoying his pizza, the one nobody touched because it was Mesogog's.

Minutes felt like hours before Mesogog turned on his handheld microphone and began dispensing his belated Christmas gifts to his subjects -- praise and thanks for hours of dogged work destroying the Power Rangers. Zeltrax's chest swelled with pride as his master began to run down the litany of things he had accomplished this past year when suddenly warning klaxons began to sound.

Elsa abruptly handed her drink off to the mushroom, cursing. She started hitting controls.

"What iss it?" Mesogog asked. "Have the Power Rangerss dared to attack my stronghold?"

"It's, um..." she blinked at the readouts. Trent stepped to the controls, pushing her out of the way.

"It's a monster! Not one of ours, I mean. It's --"

Elsa shoved him back, resuming her post. "The genus of the monster is indeterminate, sire. What are your commands?"

"Zeltrax, Trent, capture this being and bring it here," Mesogog commanded. "Elsa. See if you can find anything out about it." A look of barely contained contempt passed between the two as they made their way to the nearest invisiportal outside.

"Great, now we have a cross between one of those exotic mammals and the cat in the hat," Trent complained, glaring at the monster. The monster giggled.

Beneath his armor, Zeltrax's eyes widened. "By Dezu. It's Chipper Chupacabra!"

"Who?" Trent muttered cluelessly.

"A fairy tale villains tell their offspring at night..." Zeltrax's sword clattered uselessly to the grass. "Morph, you fool! Morph before he ensnares your very essence!"

Trent snorted, and morphed. "Right. This looks as dangerous as a rabid squirrel."

The creature chittered happily, its dual-lidded eyes snapping open and pulsating with a liquid luminance. Trent's knees began to buckle. "Aaargh!" Trent screamed. He shuddered, and then vanished into thin air.


	2. Chapter 2

"Zeltraaaax," Mesogog hissed, "where exactly is my son?"

The cyborg shrugged noncommittally, slumping against the side of the Genome Randomizer. The battle against the monster had been long and hard, and he had barely made it out with his neck intact. "The White Ranger cloaked himself upon being enspelled by the creature, my liege. I was otherwise disposed, and could not search for him."

"Sssooo where is he?" Mesogog replied. "Do not tell me I have to interrupt my celebrations."

"I'll go find him," Elsa volunteered. She shot a look at Zeltrax. The kind of look that said, 'you had to misplace his son, didn't you?'

Zeltrax grunted. He wasn't going to get even a moment's peace tonight. Not with that accursed woman constantly jockeying for his already tenuous place in the chain of command. "Permit me to assist Elsa, sir. Your festivities needn't be halted. We shall return in time for karaoke."

Twin tendrils of amber energy shot from the mutant's forehead, enveloping the heads of the generals and causing unspeakable pain. "You had better!"

Once the pain has ceased, the two of them made their way to the scanners. Zeltrax figured if Elsa could find the White Ranger, he could retrieve him. Of course, the White Ranger, if legend were to be believed, was probably handing out flowers somewhere... probably, given their luck, in civilian form. Or telling Dr. Oliver everything he knew about Mesogog's base.

"You had to lose him," Elsa hissed.

"I failed to see you joining us in battle, Elsa! You are simply fortunate my armor protected me from the brunt of the spell! As it is -" he lowered his voice another notch, suddenly aware of Mesogog's acute hearing, "as it is I feel a horribly charitable mood falling over me."

"Shut up and work the scanners before Lord Mesogog notices that my scanner hasn't picked him up yet."

Long moments passed as the generals hammered away at their consoles and brushed away the curious glances of mildly inebriated Tyrannodrones.

Before Zeltrax was given the chance to commit hata-kiri for the sheer inability to discover the whereabouts of the White Ranger, the scanner meekly complied with his last request on the location of the White Ranger's energy readings. It appeared that the White Ranger was attempting to use his Zord to help with the construction efforts on a bridge.

"Pfeh," he murmured as he attempted to capture Elsa's attention without also alerting Mesogog to the disturbance. "This is your obligation," he whispered hotly.

Elsa rolled her eyes, apparently not in the holiday spirit, and turned towards Mesogog. "Lord Mesogog, we've found him and we'll bring him back. Just a minute."

Zeltrax quivered, muttering something Elsa took to be "Rissafragga."

She took the nearest invisiportal and landed near to where the White Ranger was directing his Zord... and it looked more like the zord was pushing around cars like they were toys, instead of bridge-building.

"Oh, Elsa!" the White Ranger crowed. "You're just in time. Help me get this car out of the mud."

"What in the name of Dezu are you doing, whelp?!" she barked. "Your father is very worried about you, and it's our hides on the line when you act this way!"

"Tell him I'm busy," the White Ranger said. "I'll be back in time for midnight, I just want to help people. I've had to have a few drunk drivers carried home."

"Why are you helping people?" Zeltrax asked, his all too biological stomach quivering at the answer he sensed coming.

"It feels good," the White Ranger said. "See, using Zords to be helpful can be fun!"

"You take his arms, I'll take his feet," Zeltrax rumbled.

Elsa shot him a bitter glance, her voice softening to the tones she used for those student she was not allowed to kill in her human identity. "Trent, dear, we - appreciate your dabbling in good. We're ALL a little good-curious deep down. The trouble is that your father will eviscerate the lot of us if you don't come through this invisiportal in the next twenty seconds. Couldn't you tell your nice friends here on the bridge to hold up and wait for you to return? I'm sure their lives don't hang in the balance if they don't arrive prior to midnight."

"Oh, okay," the White Ranger said cheerfully. "Hey, everybody! Don't go anywhere! I'll be right back!"

Some of the drivers honked and waved.

"Okay, where's the invisiportal?" he asked in the same cheerful tone, turning back to Elsa.

"This way," she gestured, a warm smile never leaving her face. Zeltrax was chilled to the bone by the sudden shift in expression between how she regarded him and the way she had handled the boy.

Oh what I wouldn't give for her to look at me that way just once!

"Oh, okay," the White Ranger said. "As long as I'm not gone too long." He walked to the invisiportal and was sucked in.

Elsa shook her head sadly, following after the Ranger before he could change his mind. Zeltrax, his mind and heart heavy, followed dutifully.  
The portal had deposited them in the main room. Mesogog just gave a slight nod before returning to his drink. It was as if he hadn't noticed their disappearance at all... and maybe not even Trent's. Elsa could only hope. She steered the too-cheerful White Ranger back to the spiked punch.

"Now do try and enjoy yourself, dear?" she smiled. "The spirit of the holiday is, after all, about togetherness."

"Okay," Trent said, serving himself. "Thanks, Elsa! Just don't remind me to go back!"

He said it in a loud enough voice that even Mesogog could hear, but the lizard seemed to ignore his son. Maybe he wouldn't remember the entire evening at all. Maybe they could get Trent off the spell before he did something like defect to the other side.

Then again, maybe she could lease him out and people could die from the saccharine sweetness.

The chittering of Tyrannodrones alerted the generals to a large device being lugged to the southwestern corner of the chamber - a corner already wired with a cheap lighting grid. Subsequent drones carried a microphone stand, and Elsa flinched as she realized it was the karaoke Mesogog had earlier mentioned/threatened.

"Ah, karaoke," Mesogog confirmed. "Elsa, would you like to do the honors?"

"Um... maybe Zeltrax," Elsa hedged, dodging behind the other general.

Though it was impossible to tell, she could swear the armored cyborg was grinning as he cast a glance over his shoulder. "Perhaps we could both honor you with a song, my lord?"

"Excellent," Mesogog purred. "A duet is just what we need to strengthen the bonds within our ranks."

Trent raised his cup in salute. "Yay!" he said briefly.

Elsa got dragged up onto the stage, where Zeltrax was busy setting up the song.

She grabbed him by the shoulders, her gaze burning into his visor. "I swear," she spat, "if you do anything to embarrass me I WILL kill you, and it will NOT be out of desire for your job."

"I promise not to embarrass you," Zeltrax said. "Is this song satisfactory?"

She shrugged noncommittally at the artist name, having never heard of the selection before. "Neither of us are humans."

"Then we shall sing it," Zeltrax said, picking up a mike and handing it to Elsa. Elsa accepted the microphone, and let the other general start.

_"You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar_  
When I met you  
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around  
Turned you into someone new  
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet  
Success has been so easy for you  
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now  
And I can put you back down too... 

_Don't - don't you want me?_  
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me  
Don't - don't you want me?  
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me  
It's much too late to find  
You think you've changed your mind  
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry  
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me - OOHHHHH!  
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me - OOHHHHH!" 

Elsa struggled through her parts of the lyrics, wishing she'd gotten rip-roaring drunk. As they got to the end of the performance, she noticed the White Ranger had, again, disappeared.

Zeltrax, clearly having enjoyed more than a few cocktails in the interim, was getting deeply into his part of the end chorus. Elsa, realizing this could go on for hours if not stopped now, grabbed the cyborg and pulled him to her in an awkward, if not enthusiastic on his part, kiss.

"TRENT HAS RUN OFF," she whispered hotly into his ear. "We have to leave NOW."

"Do we have to?" Zeltrax whined.

Elsa grabbed the other general. "Yes." She smiled at Mesogog. "Excuse me, Lord Mesogog, but we have to take care of something. Quickly."

The mutant clapped unsuccessfully, his hands badly out of rhythm with one another. "I alwaysss suspected something between you two. Go, go. Young love is always best when it is fresssh."

"Thank you, Lord Mesogog," Elsa said, and hauled Zeltrax towards an invisiportal. Hopefully the one that Trent had used. Presumably to get back to the traffic. Of course, for all she knew, he'd gone to the Yellow Ranger's house for a little nookie.


	3. Chapter 3

The two of them disappeared down an invisiportal to the place Trent had once been. However, the drivers were on the move once again - it was clear the delinquent had been there and left. Elsa growled.

Zeltrax groaned. "At this rate we'll be searching for him until February!"

"Mesogog will notice we're gone before then. Think, you tinhead... where would he go?"

"Um... we could send a monster down and wait until he engages it," Zeltrax said.

She whapped him on the side of the head. "Idiot! Mesogog's in the base right now. What are we supposed to tell him?"

"We could go to his former place of employment," Zeltrax suggested.

Elsa took a deep, steadying breath. "All right. It stands to reason the boy might," the breath caught in her throat and she looked up with fresh panic in her eyes. "Zeltrax, is that concubine of Dr. Oliver's hosting her own New Years celebration for the teenagers of Reefside?"

"I belive that is where Dr. Oliver will be, acting as a chaperone." His tone indicated why he was interested in that particular subject.

"Then I can infiltrate the festivities in my human identity," she said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "We'll have no trouble bringing the boy back to Mesogog before midnight."

"Er, we?" Zeltrax asked.

"You'll just have to hope you have a good career as a cardboard standup," Elsa said. "There's no way your ugly mug can pass as human. You just hope we can isolate the boy."

"I CAN remove my helmet," Zeltrax huffed. The impudence his object of affections was demonstrating cut him far deeper than he'd ever admit, and he was damned if he'd be excluded from yet another one of her schemes. "Dressed properly, I could pass for human."

"And be recognized by Dr. Oliver?" she sneered. "Not going to happen!"

"So, what are you proposing that I do?" Zeltrax asked.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Stand at attention at the front of the entrance while I get him out of there."

"Fine," he sighed. The two made their way to the nearest connecting invisiportal to the cyber cafe.

Elsa shimmered into her Principal Randall disguise and assaulted the nearest teenager. "Have you seen Trent Fernandez? His father is looking for him!"

The kid laughed. "I'd hope so! At the rate he's giving out money the Mercers are going to be bankrupt by Monday!"

Elsa looked disgusted. "Where?"

He pointed. "The stage of the Cyberspace. There's a line."

The teen grabbed her arm as she started toward the door. "But hey, no cutting! He's got strong policies."

"I'll strong policy him," Elsa muttered, wishing she could force-teleport Trent out of there.

Barging through the double doors she was unsurprised to see the line winding its way throughout the restaurant in a serpentine fashion. Dr. Oliver and his ... his WOMAN stood off to the side, soaking in the improbability of this and periodically affirming the other with a glance that seemed to say "yes, this is happening."

She pushed through the kids, earning her a few glares until the glarer realized who he or she was glaring at and shied away, obviously not wanting to risk detention. She wispered into her comm device, "Zeltrax, move towards the back of the building."

Elsa reached Trent. "Trent, dearest? Your father wants you to come home. Now."

Trent waved her off. "Principal Randall, I appreciate your concern. Truly. But I felt that I needed to mend bridges with my peers before I saw 2004 out. You yourself have noted my continued - problems fitting in."

"Buying people's affections is hardly a way to ensure genuine loyalty, Mr. Fernandez."

Trent laughed. "Then call it my own personal karmic debt being repaid. I'll be glad to come back with you in an hour or so. Until then why don't you mingle with the other chaperones?"

His voice lowered conspiratorially. "I believe Dr. Oliver's dance card is wide open, Elsa."

Elsa stiffened in a way that would have made Zeltrax proud. "You're not suggesting... that's it, back home right this minute, young man!"

Trent laughed - no, that wasn't accurate. He giggled. "We're not on school grounds, ma'am, and you're not the boss of me here. Why don't you relax and enjoy yourself? I'd say this place is certainly nicer than the location of my father's party."

"Trent, I know you're trying to be nice here, but your father is going to be very upset at you very shortly if he finds out where you are and what you're doing. It would be very... painful for you to stay here.".

He giggled again. "Ten minutes, I promise. By the time you finish your milkshake I'll be well on my way back home. Deal?"

He whistled before she could answer. "Hayley, a Chocolate Memory for our good friend Principal Randall if you please!"

His voice lowered again. "Do you think we should get Terrance anything?"

Elsa growled, just as softly. "Ten minutes. That's it. You're up next for karaoke."

"Whatever." He motioned her towards the counter where Dr. Oliver's concubine was making the drink.

Elsa sighed as she slumped onto the barstool. Dr. Oliver laughed. "Anton's been riding you pretty hard tonight, hasn't he? I'm surprised he didn't come to get Trent himself."

"He's busy with several projects. We're just fortunate he's managed to put in an appearance at his own party," she murmured by route.

"I know. Anton works pretty hard," he said, sympathy in his tone.

"What's worse is that his son is having some sort of... rection to something he drank, and unfortunately, relocated himself out of there."

Oliver nodded. "Something about Trent has seemed... out of sorts tonight. Though he doesn't really strike me as the type to swipe from a liquor cabinet."

Elsa laughed ruefully. "Can you ever really tell? I tell you, there are days when it's like night and day with this one. You can't imagine the strain it puts on An - Dr. Mercer."

"I know," Oliver responded. "Trent's a good kid, though."

"That's the problem," Elsa said, sipping at the milkshake and counting the seconds until she and Zeltrax could shuffle him out of there. Maybe the damned spell would wear off at the stroke of midnight.

Oliver seemed to think about something for a moment, his eyes taking on a faraway cast. "Would you care to stick around after escorting Trent back to his father's? I can understand if you're busy, but we haven't really had a chance to talk since my, ah, ailment."

The doctor's woman, to her faint credit, seemed to pay the two of them no mind as she continued her duties.

"I'm sorry, but as soon as I can get Trent out of here, I promised his father that I'd return to the party," she said, false regret in her voice. "I really doubt that Trent got into the alcohol, but I'd like to get Trent back before he causes any... problems."

He nodded. "Understood."

Thinking back on what he'd said, she suddenly took the initiative. "You're looking quite hale and hearty tonight, you know. Has your illness begun to subside? I would need to inform Dr. Mercer when his tenure as substitute is winding down."

Dr. Oliver coughed, catching the eye of his concubine in desperation. "This being my first public appearance in a couple months, I'm afraid I might have... overstepped my limits."

"Ah, too bad. Though Dr. Mercer is... quite enthralling." She watched Trent and sipped at the milkshake. It wasn't too bad; the woman knew her stuff. Unfortunately, Mesogog might start to wonder where all his generals were shortly.  
.  
.  
.  
This was easily the worst holiday Zeltrax had ever experienced. He groaned in frustration as he upended a garbage can, sending stray cats fleeing for their lives. He should have opted out of fighting the monster and left himself to enjoy a delicious, and no doubt long congealed, pizza. Now he'd managed to misplace Mesogog's son, caused said son to be enspelled by a legendary creature, and had left Elsa to be seduced by that cad Oliver.

And, because of Elsa's strictures, all he could do was wait outside. And still wait outside.

Finally, he decided to act. He barged in the emergency door, intent on physically picking up the White Ranger and taking him out of there before anything else happened.

A giddy chittering stopped him from coming in from stage right. He knew that sound all too well...

He spun, unsurprised to see Chipper Chupacabra prancing and clapping in delight.

this is my chance to prove to Elsa I can handle things without her OR the White Ranger!

He slammed his sword in the monster's direction.

The creature dodged the blade like a seasoned boxer, slipping out into the alley. Zeltrax tore off after it, stopping only to tear his sword out of the wall.  
.  
.  
.  
In the meantime, the noise didn't go unnoticed, but thankfully for Zeltrax, neither Oliver nor his bimbette saw him hulking about. Elsa made her way up to the stage. "Trent, dearest, it's time to go. You've done your good deed for the night, but your father is expecting you."

thank Dezu that lunkhead actually managed to remember his instructions before this got even more out of hand!

Trent sighed heavily, waving to the various unpaid teenagers. "See ya at school, everybody! I'm pretty good with faces, so I think I can remember who still needs their monetary gift package!"

The teenagers groaned. Elsa grunted. The teen wasn't putting up a fight, but he wasn't making it any easier to bodily remove him from the stage.

"Come on, Trent, let's go out this way before you're mugged by one of your... admirers," she said, making a note to ask Mesogog to home school his son. It would be safer.

"Bye!" he called, finally permitting himself to be removed.

She breathed easier the instant they were in the alleyway. "All right, Zeltrax, I got him to come along peaceably. Let's get back to the lair."

She looked around. "Zeltrax?"

The lug was nowhere to be found. "Aargh. Come on, Trent. There's a nice invisiportal this way. Why don't you go? I guess Zeltrax had... something to take care of."

Trent's eyes widened. "Do you think he might be in some trouble?"

"Maybe," Elsa allowed.

"Then let's go rescue him!" Trent announced, heading down the alley.

"ARGH!" Elsa cried. She chased after him.

As they ran the sounds of a battle became more and more apparent. It seemed that Zeltrax really had run into some trouble. Wasn't that just like the idiot?

"White Ranger! Dino Thunder!" Trent called. "Come on, Elsa!"

The twosome rounded a corner only to find Zeltrax locked in heated combat with Chipper Chupacabra. Her opinion of Zeltrax raised infinitesimally.

"HANG ON, SMITTY!" The White Ranger called, calling on his super-speed to attack the creature before it could further injure the cyborg.

Elsa, cursing, followed the White Ranger into battle.

"I don't suppose you could have tried to subdue him in the actual VICINITY of the Cyberspace, could you?!" she yelled.

Zeltrax rose to his feet stiffly. "What do you think I was trying to do? Elsa, you must get out of here. Trent has already been enspelled, and my armor protects me, but you are helpless to the monster's ravages!"

"Just grab Trent and let's get out of here!" Elsa screamed.


	4. Chapter 4

Trent started attacking the monster. It cheerfully avoided his sword blows, chittering excitedly. It began to dance away, and Trent followed it.

Zeltrax rematerialized his axe from hammerspace and crossed the blade against his sword. Liquid green energy formed around the two and began to fluctuate.

"Trent, get down NOW!" he cried.

"Huh?" the White Ranger asked. "Oh." He dodged. Thankfully. Unfortunately so did Chipper Chupacabra, the laser blast doing little more than singeing the creature's immense hat.

"Elsa! Get to safety!" Zeltrax called. "I will retrieve the White Ranger!"

The monster continued to chirp, despite Trent's best efforts to get at it. Then the White Ranger seemed to lose focus again, and wandered off.

"You take care of it, I'll take care of Trent," Elsa called, taking off after Trent. Maybe Lord Mesogog would accept the fact that his son had passed out. At least until they could break the spell.

The creature squealed at Elsa's swiftly fleeing figure, materializing a spell of its own and preparing to enthrall her. Zeltrax's heart rose to his throat. "ELSA!"

The cyborg threw himself across the distance between them, summoning his shield and deflecting the spell back towards Chipper Chupacabra.

The monster cheeped... and disappeared. Zeltrax paused, waiting for the monster to come back.

It didn't.

"Grozit," he murmured. He began to turn towards the other generals before feeling the smack of Elsa's hand against his cheek.

"What the HELL did you think you were doing?!"

"I was saving your life," he said huffily. "Besides, with the monster... gone Trent should be returning to normal at any minute."

"Thank Dezu," Elsa muttered. "The last thing we need is a drunk, good Ranger." She paused. "I'll go get him. I have a feeling he's going to have a hangover. And I really need to talk to Lord Mesogog about home tutoring...."

"Are my ears burning?" the White Ranger asked cheerfully, slipping between the others. At their shared looks of confusion and displeasure he shrugged. "Hey, keep your secrets. It's all good."

Elsa groaned. "Let's just get back to Mesogog's party before he remembers we're gone."

In a flash the three returned to the island fortress.

.

.

.

Once there, Elsa bundled Trent towards his chambers. Hopefully, the White Ranger would sleep off the spell... and Mesogog wouldn't even notice his son's disappearance. Or at least accept it.

The mutant appeared from behind a steel awning. "Greeeeetingsssss," he hissed. "I see the two of you have changed to - formal dresssss."

Elsa swallowed noisily. Trent seemlessly moved besides his father, demorphing and grinning like a used car salesman. "You bet, dad. And we're right in the middle of securing YOU the absolute best present any power-hungry world despot could ask for. 2005 is going to be totally bitchin'."

Mesogog nodded. "Then I leave you to your... sssecuring."

Elsa breathed in relief. Heaven knew what the White Ranger had in mind. The only thing she knew was that she was probably going to regret it.

"What in the world was that?" She asked the instant Mesogog had returned to the main chamber.

Trent shrugged. "You made such a big stink tonight about how we couldn't go sneaking around without a good reason I might as well give us one. Plus I've been meaning to show Dad how much I care. It might soften the blow from the thirty thousand I just blew tonight."

"I'll have to do something about that," Elsa muttered. "In the meantime, why don't you just go to your quarters and stay there?"

"Can't!" he said. "Promised dad, now I gotta deliver. Can't make a liar of me, can we?"

With that, he reached out and brought up an invisiportal. And disappeared.

Elsa swore.

.

.

.

She reached out and entered the invisiportal, determined to find the White Ranger and knock him unconscious. Then, maybe, the party could go on.

She found herself smack dab in the middle of Anton Mercer's pier. Looking around in confusion she saw no sign of the boy anywhere.

"Trent!" she screamed, hoping that the boy would show himself and end her misery.

Silence.

Elsa swore under her breath and marched back towards the mansion, determined to find and subdue the Ranger before he brought the entire house of cards down on top of them.

But he was nowhere. Okay, if you were an enspelled Ranger trying to find the perfect gift for a power-hungry dinosaur-lizard, where would you go?

Back to the Cyberspace? Unlikely. He'd already expressed his fears about how much money he'd given away. Back to helping out random pedestrians? There'd have been more of a commotion somewhere.

Elsa sighed, flopping down one of the Mercers' many couches. There was nothing she'd like more than to drink herself into oblivion before Mesogog could take her there himself.

"Dezu," she muttered. "He's going to catch the Rangers!"

She snapped upright, nearly smacking her head against the lamp above her. Groaning she activated an invisiportal and vanished.

The invisiportal took her near a house. A cheery, white house with far too many lights. Way too many lights. And no Trent. She groaned again. "Trent!"

The sound of people stepping out onto a raised patio drew her attention, and she slipped beneath one of the support beams, lest she had arrest for trespassing to an already sizable list of mistakes tonight.

"So, what are you doing here?" the voice was the Yellow Ranger's. And her tone was cautious.

"Celebrating the new year," Trent said, sounding - to Elsa's ears - more than a little drunk.

"Come to hogtie me and take me back to Mesogog?" she asked, her voice lowering further.

Trent giggled. "Not hardly. I mean, I want to show m - Mesogog what he's meant to me, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you guys too."

"And so you're here because?" the Yellow Ranger asked, even more cautious.

"It's the new year. Time to put aside old differences and just enjoy life."

"You'll excuse me if I don't buy that," she bit back.

Elsa smiled, practically hearing Trent wince. "I suppose I deserve that," he allowed, "but that doesn't mean you're not important to me, Kira. In fact, I came to you with something like a proposition. A way to end this destructive conflict."

"Oh?" Kira asked, still obviously suspicious.

The wood above Elsa creaked. She flinched, guessing what was to come. "Marry me," he said. "A mutual heir for Mesogog's empire and for the Dino Rangers would FORCE Dr. Oliver and m - Mesogog to coexist."

A large smack filled the air, and Trent was flying off the balcony, not of his own volition. Elsa went to the place where Trent had landed and was fortunate to find him unconsious.

She quickly dragged him under the porch with her before the Yellow Ranger saw either of them. The sound of frantic footsteps from the front entrance implied that Kira was intending to inflict further grievous injury on the boy, and Elsa quickly teleported them both out.

.

.

.

"You found him?" Zeltrax asked.

"Finally," Elsa answered, upon assuring herself that the White Ranger had suffered no concussion from his flight. "And he's going to sleep for the next two days, if I have anything to say in the matter. At least until you destroy that stupid chipmunk."

Zeltrax cleared his throat, a sickening sound like nails on a chalkboard. "Elsa, you realize it's very likely that chipmuck destroyed itself. In which case it might not be possible to restore Trent to normal."

"I suppose we should just rent him out," Elsa said. "That might be all that he's useful for. Making people die from saccharine sweetness."

Zeltrax seemed to consider. "We could use him to infiltrate the Rangers once again! Dr. Oliver is a sucker for a sudden redemption. Why, if we could turn that Yellow Ranger's latent feelings for the boy against the four of them?"

"We can't control him, that's why!" Elsa nearly screamed. "He's as likely to help us as hinder us."

Zeltrax shushed her. "If only we could install a pavlovian response into the boy. If only we could put him in the Genome Randomizer or something."

"That's it!" Elsa exclaimed. "But we'll have to do it after Lord Mesogog's gone to be for the night...."

Zeltrax considered. "Mesogog and I could attack the Cyberspace. Dr. Oliver would be unable to defend himself in front of all those children."

"The only thing Lord Mesogog is interested in tonight is Karaoke," Elsa pointed out. "We're technically off the clock, remember?"

Zeltrax grunted. "I'm trying to help you. The only logical way we could get him to evacuate the premises would be..."

"Zeltrax, the only thing I'm interested in is living through this party. Nothing more, nothing less."

"He was mildly disgusted by your attempts to, ah, fornicate with me. If we were to persist in such behaviors he might be encouraged to leave the lab."

"Let's just tire him out and put him to bed before he knows what happened to his son. Then we can rouse Trent and make him useful."

Zeltrax shrugged. "Go ahead. He sent me to my room for being a, quote, buzz-kill. It's your funeral."

Elsa sighed. "Or we could just let Trent sleep it off and then hope we get a useable monster out of him when Mesogog's not around to see his son's appaling behavior...."

The alarm klaxon interrupted whatever thoughts percolated in the general's head, and the two quickly returned to the lab. Mesogog slumped over the sensor console, his eyes bleary and unfocused. "Ah, I sssss... I seeeee... you failed to properly dispose of the interloper, Zeltrax." The mutant hiccuped. "No matter. It ssssssss.... sssseems he is intending to desssstroy the Rangers for usssssss..."

"What?" Elsa proclaimed, before realizing that it was unwise to use that tone with her boss. Thankfully, Mesogog didn't notice, merely indicating the display with one claw.

It was something resembling Chipper Chupacabra in only the broadest of terms. The creature cackled, a sickening sound, as it tore through the Reefside Basilica Block Party.

Zeltrax swallowed noisily.

"Well, at least that's not our problem anymore," Elsa said.

Mesogog just looked at her. "Send the White Ranger to aid it."

"Um, sir," Elsa protested. "The White Ranger's out. Remember?"

"I don't CARE!" Mesogog yelped like an impudent child. "I must enssss... Enssss... Ensssure the creature's victory over the Rangerss!"

Elsa mentally shook her head. "I'll summon the White Ranger to battle at once." How she was going to cause that miracle, she didn't know.


	5. Chapter 5

"Trent!"

The idiotic clatter of Elsa's voice woke Trent out of sleep. However, he was in too good a mood to be irritated. "Yes, Elsa?" he asked cheerily.

"There's a monster attacking the city," she yelled. "Your father is very upset. This is your big chance to prove yourself to him!"

Trent raised both eyebrows. "I thought we attacked the good guys," he said, failing to see what part he had to play in all the commotion. "Good night."

Elsa blanched. "But... Innocent people! Doesn't that just set your soul ablaze? Doesn't the thought of that monster massacring your beloved Kira infuriate every fiber of your, um, very being?"

"Elsa, I'm in a good mood. I was dreaming about Kira. She's fully capable of taking care of herself and then some. Come on. GO back to bed."

Elsa gave a small cry of exasperation and pulled the young man to his feet. "Listen you festering little hangnail. I am NOT sticking my neck out for you any longer. Mesogog is going to gut us both like fish if we don't start producing results. Maybe you're eager to see what your intestines look like as outerwear, but I'm not! Now you are going to morph, march out there, and kill that blasted creature before we three of us are used as fodder for the Genome Randomizer!"

Trent sighed. "All right. If only to see Kira."

Elsa nearly whooped with joy. Trent fought back a smile, knowing his fellow general would not appreciate the good cheer.

"Come on," she said. "There's an invisiportal about a block away. With luck we can still salvage the holiday."

"All right," Trent said. "I probably should get back to moving cars about after the monster's destoryed anyway."

Elsa shrugged. "Whatever you want. It's your bloody night for all I care, so long as I don't bear the blame."

"Good," Trent said, bringing up his morpher. "Happy New Year, Elsa!"

"Happy New Year," she started, quickly trailing off into a long and convoluted elaboration on Trent's lineage.

The White Ranger shimmered out via invisiportal and troubled her no more.

.

.

.

"Man," Ethan groaned as the monster punched a dent into his Tricera Shield, "this guy just keeps on coming!"

"You said it," Kira said, flipping across two Tyrannodrones and blasting at it with her Dino Blaster.

"Hey, guys," the White Ranger called cheerfully. "Need help?"

"BASTARD!" Conner yelled, instantly crossing the battle field and summoning his Tyrannostaff. "What's your game tonight, Trent? Trying to coerse the kids of Reefside into doing your bidding? Nothing doing! The Power Rangers can't be bribed!"

"Um, actually, I think I'm supposed to be destroying the guy you're currently pounding," Trent said helpfully.

"Like I'd believe that," Conner sniped back. Ethan was thrown into a street light and screamed in agony.

"Bro, right now I'm willing to let panhandlers help us."

"Or maybe it was to turn him good again," Trent muttered. "I can't remember what Elsa said about that."

"Hang on, guys! I'm-" Dr. Oliver stopped short as he took in the four Rangers attempting to talk in the midst of a battle. "I think I missed something here."

"Not a problem, Dr. Oh," Trent said. "Think of this as a New Year's present! See, the good guys and the bad guys can cooperate for one night." He hiccuped.

The Black Ranger twitched. "Okay. Whatever Mesogog's playing at, I guess I'm willing to stomach it for one night."

He unshealthed his Brachio Staff. "I don't suppose anyone told you how we're supposed to destroy this thing?"

"No, Elsa just said to get my butt down here and do something with it. I think it's supposed to be good or something....."

"A good monster makes about as much sense as a good White Ranger," Conner murmured. Kira thwaped him with what seemed like affection.

"Anyway, Elsa sent me down, so I guess I'm with my peers tonight," Trent said, aiming a blow at the monster.

"Someone tell me I'm dreaming," Conner muttered.

"Nah. You should have some of our punch after it's done, however...." Trent told him cheerfully. "It packs quite a punch! And you haven't lived until you've seen Elsa and Zeltrax do karaoke....."

Conner grunted a profanity as Dr. Oliver heaved him towards the monster. In a flash he converted to Super Dinomode, and tore into the once chipper chupacabra with ferocity.

Trent giggled and switched to a mode nobody had ever seen before. And would never see again. "Giddy mode!" he called.

Ethan choked back a laugh as Trent began toÊ serenade the monster with what looked like a lute.

"My bonnie soars over the ocean, my bonnie soars over the sea, my bonnie soars over the ocean, oh soak that poor bonnie for me!"

Without warning the nearby tide of the ocean began to churn rapidly, foam increasing along the surface and waves of growing height lapping against the loose sand below them.

"Tsunami!" Dr. Oliver called. "Incoming!"

Trent just giggled.

"Do you think, if we hit him over the head, it'll go away?" Conner whispered to Ethan.

A massive tidal wave shot over the concrete barrier, slamming down atop the monster with an almost impossible trajectory. With that the wave began to slink back towards the ocean, carrying the monster with it.

Dr. Oliver darted forward, snapping components on his Brachiostaff into position. "We only get one shot at this! ELECTRICAL STRIKE!"

"Electric darts!" Trent called.

"Z-Rex Blaster!" Conner yelled, the other two Rangers kneeling beside him and snapping their power weapons together.

The three beams shot out across the wharf, snaring the creature in the midst of the tidal wave.

"We got him, we've got him...."

"Trent, this isn't a fishing expedition!"

"Just a second longer!" the Black Ranger called, reconfiguring the staff again. "Energy Orb, ENGAGE!"

A massive sphere of power erupted from the weapon, striking the chupacabra, still torn in two directions, and destroyed it explosively. The backlash threw the team to the ground.

"Ow," Kira muttered.

"Kira? You okay?" Trent asked, rushing over to her.

"That's supposed to be my line," Conner said, grumbling as he got up and assessed his bruises.

"Back off!" The White Ranger snarled, looking back at the girl in confusion. "Did... Are you hurt?"

"I'll be okay. Just need a hot bath... alone."

"Are you sure? I'm a really good scrubber...."

"Back off yourself!" the Red Ranger barked, helping Kira to her feet. "I bet this is all part of some evil scheme of yours, trying to get us to invite you into one of our homes, isn't it?"

Trent partially shrugged, his posture somewhere between confused and hostile. "I... No, it's not..."

"Trent?" Dr. Oliver asked.

Trent sighed. "Excuse me. I left some drivers stranded."

The helmet aside, Oliver clearly blinked. "I ... alright."

"Have a happy new year!" Trent called as he leaped up on his zord and flew off.

.

.

.

The Dracozord swept low across the fertile fields on Reefside's outlying areas. Trent laughed giddily, relishing the feel of the bitter breeze against his uniform. Why hadn't he been doing this all the time?

Ah yes, he remembered with an abrupt clarity. The Rangers. Their plans to restore the planet to the age of the dinosaur had been indefinitely postponed. With it he could no longer enjoy the fruits of his powers.

Ah well. He shook his head and patted the forehead of the zord beneath him. Live in the moment or don't live at all, that's what his birth-father had always told him.

Dracozord landed, and he whooped. "Everybody! I'm here!" he called.

The commuters stranded in each side of the bridge honked in what he hoped was appreciation. "I'll start moving everybody across soon enough, okay?"

He patted his Zord's head. "Let's get to work."

.

.

.

Elsa collapsed against a chair in her quarters.

"It could be worse," Zeltrax opined. "For instance, he could have actually joined the Rangers."

"I just hope he returns to normal when he comes home, or Mesogog is going to kill him. And us." Elsa sighed. "As it is, I have to find some way to ban him from school until I can coerce the student population to return his money...."

Zeltrax shrugged. "I can handle that myself. I'll simply visit each and every member of the student body in the next few hours, and persuade them. You do keep a database as part of your cover identity?"

Elsa nodded. "Of course." She reached to one side and brought out a PDA. "Have fun."

Zeltrax bowed and accepted the PDA. "Mesogog's money should be returned by tomorrow morning."

Elsa nodded in relief. "And I'll make sure the White Ranger gets an extra dose of sedative today. He's going to need it."

"That would be ... for the best," Zeltrax allowed. "And perhaps you should seduate Lord Mesogog's breakfast. Though I doubt the children could spend much of the money between the hours of 11 and 5 on New Years, I further doubt any bank would be open for me to return those funds."

Elsa nodded once again. "At this rate, I think that both of them deserve a full day's sleep."

"And we don't?" the cyborg chuckled. "Every part of me aches, even the parts without pain receptors."

He gestured to her couch. "Do you mind?"

Elsa shrugged. "Not at all. At least we can rest until Trent gets tired of playing with cars."

Zeltrax lowered himself onto the furniture, mindful not to break anything with his sheer bulk. He sighed contentedly. "This is the first time I've had that I could think in the last twelve hours."

"I'll remember to tell Lord Mesogog that we had a great party," Elsa said absentmindedly. "We really didn't get to see much of that, either."

"Perhaps that's for the best," Zelrax said. "Though brilliant, Mesogog has little sense of recreational activities."

The two let that hang in the air for a moment, lost in their thoughts. "How did things go with Dr. Oliver earlier?" Zeltrax continued.

"I got stuck conversing with him and his concubine when Trent refused to leave the stage," Elsa said shrugging. "I was too preoccupied to really worry about it."

Zeltrax chastised himself for pressing the issue. "I'm curious if they've found a way to undo the morphing predicament he's in. He appeared ... normal. A good soldier gauges the emotional state of his opponent."

Elsa laughed with genuine mirth. "Soldier. You were a scientist, Terrance. I know you've got a banana in your pipe because of Oliver, but really now."

She took a moment to finish her giggles before continuing. "And for the record he seemed to be shimmering at odd times. I think that woman of his is field testing some sort of holographic cloak."

Zeltrax nodded thoughtfully. "I would hope that he is getting tired of the morphed state. Or that his physical state is deteriorating because of the continued morph."

She leaned backwards over the arm so her eyes could meet his. "Must you kill him? The man might yet have ... uses for our organization."

"Dr. Oliver? You would want Dr. Oliver?" Zeltrax's voice raised in alarm. Then he seemed to relax. "Ah. As a... bed partner."

Elsa's eyes widened for a moment. "That ... wasn't quite how I meant to be construed, but I won't deny the idea has some appeal for me. Does that pose a problem for you?"

"Every beautiful woman should have her harem."

"Terrance Smith, you're drunk."

Zeltrax laughed, a tacit confirmation. "And you, Elsa? I believe these are the most civil words we've had for each other in years."

"I might have... had a little punch. Though not in the quantity that our dear White Ranger did."

Zeltrax laughed again, causing the couch to reverberate. "Neither of us could injest that much and live. Perhaps another of his magical abilities is a dinosaur liver."

"Perhaps he's taking after his father." Elsa looked thoughtful. "Lord Mesogog would be happy."

"It would be nice," Zeltrax allowed, "to let things sort themselves out and not have to ever do anything ever again. Sit back on the porch and watch our children play."

Elsa raised her eyebrows. "That's it, we're all stoned out of our minds."

A huge crash resounded outside her door. "Dad! I'm home! And I brought a present!"

Elsa groaned.

Zeltrax hobbled onto unsteady feet and fell flat on his face.

Elsa levered herself out of the chair, and sat down with a groan. "Never mind," she muttered. "I'll let Mesogog deal with him." She watched Zeltrax as he attempted to get up several times, failing each time.

"Little help?" he asked, his voice muffled by the carpet.

Elsa sighed. "Right." She got up at righted her fellow general. "Let's just stay here and let Mesogog worry about Trent. I don't think we could even get out of my quarters at the moment."

Zeltrax shook his head in amusement. "To think, I finally get you ine ... ine... drunk, and I'm too messed up to do anything about it."

"Just take the couch and go to sleep. That's what I'm going to do."

Zeltrax looked at her in confusion. "On the couch?"

Elsa glared at him. "No, dummy. You're sleeping on the couch. I'm taking the bed."

"Oh." He shrugged. "Okay."

He took five steps before faceplanting again. Elsa knelt beside him before a loud snore convinced her it was futile.

She rolled her eyes. "Tomorrow is another day," she muttered, before retiring to her bed.

.

.

.

Trent was groaning the next morning. Elsa, having discovered a very expensive Mercedes parked outside her quarters, wasn't very sympathetic.

She whalloped the boy on the side of the head. "Are you damn well evil enough yet?!"

Trent glared. "Watch it, or I'll have your intestines for party decorations."

"That's my boy!" she cheered, kissing him on the forehead and running down a corridor in jubilation.

Trent looked at her in confusion, and considered how he was going to deliver the Mercedes to his father. Maybe put in front of his father's quarters, instead of Elsa's.

Elsa rounded a corner, smashing headfirst into Zeltrax's chest. She careened to the floor.

"Are you all right?" the cyborg asked.

"Help me up, you idiot," Elsa hissed.

Zeltrax extended a hand. "Dr. Mercer's money has been returned to him."

"Thank heaven for small favors!" she spat. "No thanks to you we came this close to getting our genes resequenced!"

"Indeed. And the White Ranger's, though that would have probably been a favor."

She fought back the urge to smile, largely succeeding. "Just don't think because of how things ended last night that I'm going to start treating you any differently! You're still my biggest impediment to Mesogog's favor."

"As you wish, my lady." He gave her a deep bow. "Happy new year, Elsa."

Elsa sighed. "Happy new year, Zeltrax."

-end.


End file.
